August 2018, autumn is coming. We’ve had a hot summer, and its time for a nice late summer. Now and then rain, now and then sun. And, its time to move, to relocate, from the farm into the wagon. About time!
The wagon is waterproof at the roof, at the moment, and I’ve been busy with the rabat on the outside. Unfortunately I didn’t have enough ventilation lats, like, I missed 2 or so, which caused me to stop working. Also, it suddenly started to rain, and it wasn’t small amounts of rain, so I had to get plastic over everything to keep stuff dry. Because I was putting on the wood, I had cleared the windows of the waterproof red foil which has characterized the wagon in the past times. So now I got to wait for new ventilation lats, amongst others, so I can finish the rabat on the outside.
In the same order there’s also everything to make the window frames. This is the 2nd reason why the construction has stopped. I didn’t know how to fix it, how to make the window frames, what to order, what did I need, what was sensible… Everybody had such different opinions about it, my head just didn’t get it, and refused to make a conclusion with which I could work. So, this took me quite a while, to get my own viewpoint, because I don’t want broken windows when I hit the first bomb, or a fight against the water with every bit of rain. In the end I think I got a good solution, which only has to be made now.
What I’m gonna do is make a framing out of spruce, from which the bottom part is slanted. It will stick out on the outside, where I add a ‘rebate’ (just a little bar), so it can be more easily made waterproof. This will go over the rabat. The real ‘rebate’ (again: just a little bar) will be inside the frame, and the windows will fall against this when it’s closed. At the top there’ll be from underneath the red foil a lead-replacer which will go inwards, which makes sure the water can’t get in. I have to see if this is also necessary on the sides. All gaps on the outside part will be finished with compriband. This has to bridge 5 times its volume smaller, so where the stuff is 2cm, the gap should be 3mm. That makes it waterproof. I had no idea before, so, I’m learning too…
The windows which will be inside are made by Buva, the cheapest version which is double glas. I will hang these ‘loose’ inside the frames, that is, this is what I want to. The rebate in the frame and a rubber have to make sure no water comes through, even though the window isn’t stuck within the wooden frame. I want it loose because of the bumps and hurdles it will receive, and because I don’t want the glass to break with all the tensions which it will get. Damn, the tensions I’ve had about this topic, and probably will get, is nothing compared with what the glass is gonna be experiencing.
Doors, roof, bed
The only other thing which has to happen in order to make stuff livable, are the doors, get pipes in the roof and finish the sides of the roof (somebody does this for me), and making a bed (and getting a mattress, makes it more comfi, I think..). I haven’t made up my mind about the doors yet, how I should do this. I’m fine with ready-made doors, or those plates from which you can make doors, but I don’t need aluminium against burglary or so. If somebody wants to burglar in the wagon, they’ll do so, or just takes the whole wagon, right? But the door should be insulation-wise fine, and preferably made out of 2 pars (so it can function as ‘window’) and it has to have ventilation (front door low, side door high). Seriously, big question marks in my head. If you got ideas, please, do let me know.
I have thought it all through with the bed though. I’m looking forward to fixing that, so much! I want to get a ready-made slatted base, this thing which is convex, and I wanted to buy a real mattress, an expensive one, made out of all natural things, but I’m afraid it is gonna be an Ikea mattress. A real one, but not a complete hippy version. A bit to expensive, maybe, some day. Further, the bedframe I’ll make myself of course, and I want it to stand on legs. Foldable ones. Because the bed will hang in drawer guides, which will be fixed onto the wall, so you can lift the bed (hopefully) very easily up and down in the morning and evening, and put the foldable legs underneath, so I’ll have a bed on a normal hight. How much luxury you wanna get. In the day time there’ll be a floor over it, of course, but that’s a project for after, although I have already got some products for that too.
With the felt it goes on. I had a little motivation low point, partly because the perfect job-offer passed by into which I’ve put quite some time (nope, haven’t even been invited for for a conversation) and which I actually really wanted to get in the end. But, I’ve since then gotten busy again, with amongst others bags, x-mas trees, plant-stones (yeahhh, got an idea via facebook but it still has to show if its working), a request for a laptop sleeve (finished) and one for slippers (still have to do those).
I’ve not given any workshops this summer, because the workshops which I have set up didn’t get enough registrations. So after some 3 or 4 times, I’ve given up and focussed on making products.
Also nice – the life size tree I made in Amsterdam will move soon! The owner wants to move, but doesn’t wan to leave the tree behind, so I’m very curious on if and how this is gonna turn out, but isn’t this super good news? Te fact that somebody is so happy with your work, gives a whole lot of new motivation.
As you can see (hopefully), I’ve spend quite some hours of work on the website. This version I’ve made already some time ago, but haven’t been announcing that it is there. Because, perfectionist as I am, I wanted it to function fully in 2 languages in a way I’d be content. So, now it’s almost there, just the agenda doesn’t wanna cooperate, but it doesn’t seem there is an easy (and free) solution to that, so the non-Dutchies will have to do without agenda for now. All the rest works quite well, I think. But if you see some links which don’t work properly or something else which I should have a look at, do let me know!
Most people whom I see much lately know about it, but I haven’t really had a public announcement (okay, except maybe through Mark It Zero, and in this other blog). So here it is. I’m now 1,5 month on T(estosteron), a hormone treatment. I’ve had all the necessary tests, psyche and physical, and got to go ahead (jap, I felt sometimes very small, and sometimes very frustrated, with all those people deciding over my life). When I’m 6 months on T, I’ll do the request for a mastectomy, and get it around month 9 (if the waiting-list is nice to me).
A small side step before I get into my gender identity: In the (Dutch) society we live in a binary gender system: male and female. Man and woman. Biologically, you might say, this is just the way it is. But that’s not quite correct. There are quite some people who biologically don’t fit within those 2 boxes. And besides, there are even more people who don’t fit in the box they’ve been placed into at birth, or, as it nowadays happens, already befóre birth. It could be you’re feeling more comfortable with the other box, but there are also plenty of people who don’t feel comfortable with one of the 2 boxes. And you’re guessing maybe – I’m one of those people. In my case I identify as non-binary: not identifying with the binary gender system. What am I, then? Well, just: eelste. And what about the pronouns? In English it’s easier as it is in Dutch, as there’s a version which has been used already for longer than today: singular they/ them/ their. In Dutch it’s more complicated, but hey, you’re reading the English blog, so I won’t bore you with that.
From the moment I started hormone treatment it felt right. I am not super happy, at once, not over-enthusiastically, not suddenly found a ‘new me’, no, it just feels right. Very simple. Lot’s is gonna happen with my body yet. Amongst others my voice is gonna lower quite a lot, but also I’m gonna loose hair on my head, which grows back in other places (well, sort of like that), I will get other fat distribution, more muscles, etc etc. The last one is well noticeable in the gym!
I tape my voice every day, with, yap, reading a book by Judith Butler: Undoing Gender. It’s my inspiration, has taught me a lot, this book, and still is, every time I read a page, I think: damn this is so right! And I want to share that. I’m not sure about the form yet, but you’ll see it passing my some day here. Besides already with my love for comma’s, which I probably have taken over from Butler, and maybe some other philosophers I’ve had to read during my masters. I think…
People sometimes say things with all good intentions, but it doesn’t mean it comes across like it. Or that their behavior matches with their underlying intention they say to have. These are always difficult cases, because how can you point out to somebody who has the best intentions, they’re hurting somebody? So complicated, to take into account everybody else. Luckily there are people who do want to put the effort in, without thinking ‘I’m not allowed to say shit nowadays!’. If you’re that person, and if you’re near me, and are aware that you (or me!!) say something which sounds differently as you’d hoped, just rephrase yourself and continue talking. We all make mistakes, we have ingrained patterns, nobody’s perfect. Me neither. So don’t make a big point, so it becomes less of a big point in time 🙂
I can imagine you got questions, maybe lots of them. Very logically. Be aware there’s a lot of information on the internet, in books, in lots of places. I’m happy to clear questions when it comes to those I deal with on a daily basis, those who are close. But just because I’m ‘different’ than what you’re used to, doesn’t make me some walking encyclopedia whom you can ask all the (personal) questions you’d like. I’ll write about it here, online, so if you do have questions you can’t find answers on, elsewhere, you’re welcome to ask me. Online. So I can answer them in a more structured way and in my time. Thanks for that in advance!
Thanks for reading, for your possible reaction, and enjoy the rest of your day!